ANDY YE

What makes a waterslide fun? Twists, turns, darkness, surprise. Internally, we call riding one taking a risk, but really, what’s the risk? You know it’s going to be 100% safe. What else is available as risk-free entertainment? Pornography as a substitute for sex, video games instead of real life and junk food instead of actual food. Each is easily accessible, addictive, and provides a facsimile. Why would you want to spend your time outside, when it is so unpredictable? Wouldn’t you want your actions to have predictable results? We have commodified our evolutionary desires, so what is there left to do?

There is synthetic desire. Why do people spend hundreds on Lululemon pants, or designer coats if you can buy the same quality – and usability – for cheaper? Some people realized that with the low hanging fruit taken, they had to innovate. So they grew their own trees. They sold images, marketed needs and identities, rather than things. “This is what success looks like!” Then, they made the things to satisfy those needs. Think about the quintessential college student; Airpods max, a Mac/Lenovo laptop, a shiny new IPhone, with a Starbucks coffee or Celsius in their hand. Or the fitness guru, clad in Lululemon body armor, drinking their Erewhon smoothie. People are fed desire, and buy images.

So in a world where desire is synthetic, how can we find meaning? Maybe it’s understanding our personal psyche, why we do what we do. That’s probably half of it, and the other half is maximizing Eros. Or maybe it’s just maximizing Eros. Understanding why we do what we do is fun, and useful. If you don’t like what you see, you can change. Existentialism is certainly useful – the idea you can make meaning in an inherently meaningless world can inspire you to do more. Or do nothing at all, and spiral into nihilism, which isn’t really productive.

But anyway, I like nice things! I like feeling seen, being cool. I like video games, and watching TV shows. Does filling my life up with consumables fill my life with meaning? Am I just another cog? Could be, but at least I know I don’t want to be one, and I minimize doing those things. At least I know that the meaning you feel from buying stuff to fit in is fake, because at the end of the day, you can’t rip your face off.

Responsibility is intrinsically valuable to me. Being strong enough to say it was my fault and owning up to mistakes. It is important to feel something, to lose yourself in passion. To not only ride the wave, but guide it, in the direction you want. And when the tide crashes, you must shovel it out. Influencing others, and creating things are also intrinsically valuable to me. I’ve been making card games my whole life, going from index cards to actual custom made playing cards. I play music and paint.

Meaning is found in balance. Most people want to matter, but don’t know how. People settle for feeling good, small bursts of happiness rather than compounding fulfillment. Short form content buzzes in people’s brains. It’s easier to binge a show than to build something, easier to buy a vibe than to live a life. I mess up, often. I give countless hours to video games. I stay up when I should sleep, mope around when I should do work. But the meaning of my life stems from realizing this, and improving as much as I can. It stems from a strong compass – which you listen to – that guides your actions. But you must build your compass, you must think. You have to reach for knowledge, even with bony fingers. You must give your all to sharpen your flint, find the best place for your log pose. And you also should go get ice cream with your girlfriend.